Just heard on the news that hearings may commence shortly before the House intelligence committee to investigate wireless wiretapping, enhanced interrogation, and the extent to which the CIA concealed information about its activities from Congress for the last eight years. Depending on the outcome, this might mean a special prosecutor. Supposedly George Tennant (previous CIA director) and Dick Cheney both knew about, but concealed knowledge of, an alleged CIA program to secretly kill suspected Taliban members. This could get very interesting very quickly.

While some of David Letterman's jokes about Sarah Palin's family were no doubt in poor taste and open to misinterpretation (i.e., which daughter he was talking about), he was not the first comedian (or politician) to make such comments. I never thought I would actually feel a little sorry for David Letterman-poor taste or not, we all have an off day and generally he's a pretty funny and entertaining guy. He's apologized twice, and he doesn't deserve to be fired. And I have to admit, I find the sight and sound of Sarah Palin to be a true irritant. I feel sorry for her kids (and Alaskan wildlife) in general.

And for the people who complain that Stephen Colbert was a comedic apologist for our presence in Iraq, LIGHTEN UP! He's an entertainer/comedian, not a politician. When Obama ordered General Odierno to "shave that man's head," it was absolutely hilarious. The basic training sequence was also funny-I don't know how the drill sergeant managed to keep a straight face. I would love to see the outtakes. Colbert has stepped into Bob Hope's shoes-entertaining the troops through the USO. It's not the troops' fault that they are in Iraq-blame BushCheneyCo. for that one. At least Obama appears to be working on getting them home. I honestly don't know if it would be prudent to instantaneously cut off all funding, as some progressives in Congress would like to do, and let the chips fall where they may. I have a feeling that, unfortunately, we have to gradually dig ourselves out of this hole.

Watched a PBS documentary last night about "don't ask, don't tell" (Independent Lens). Seems that Obama could issue an executive order rescinding any prohibition against gays serving openly, much like Truman (I think?) did rescinding the policy of blacks serving separately in the military. The documentary effectively made the point that keeping gays who wish to serve out of the military is a civil rights issue-it is discrimination, plain and simple. The documentary also made the point that, in the last few years, the military has lowered its standards for admission to address a shortage of recruits. (Maybe it wouldn't be such a problem if we weren't at "war" in Iraq and Afghanistan.)

My biggest complaint so far about Obama is that some things are not moving as fast as I would like, but then he has a full plate (health care reform, the economy, the Middle East) and real change takes time. Dick Cheney should shut up and go back to his underground bunker. In an ideal world, the media would not publicize his comments so much (i.e., you had your chance, you blew it, the American people voted for a change). He talks about how the U.S. was kept safe for eight years-hello, who was in charge when 9/11 happened?

I do think that eventually we will have a public option/single payer health care and that equal rights for gays will also happen (marriage equality, serving in the military, etc.) We've started down those paths and I don't think the American people as a majority want to turn back. Congress needs to get its collective head out of its behind, grow a spine, and listen to its constituency (remember us, the people who pay your salary).

As for Iran, it's too bad people didn't take to the streets like that in this country and demand a new election back in 2000.

Both my husband and I threw out our backs the weekend before last lifting too much heavy luggage at once on our way home from Gettysburg, instead of making two trips to the car. Felt kinda miserable for a couple of days, now (a week later) just about back to normal. It was hard to bend down/get up from a sitting position for a day or two. I really have to be careful about that.

When I spell-checked this post, the spellchecker suggested "obscenely" for "BushCheneyCo." How ironically appropriate.

• Started a new job. I actually get to write stuff.
• Balticon.
• Taking photos. Flickr. See what I mean here.
• Visited Gettysburg. A lot.
• Quality time with my mother - I often visit her on Friday nights. We have fun going out to dinner, playing pool, walking down by Wilde Lake.
• Saw one of my favorite aunts over Thanksgiving when she flew down from Michigan to visit my mother.
• Spent some quality time with Tim's dad & brother. For Christmas, I made Tim's dad a photo album of family gatherings going back to 1995. He really seemed to like it.
• Publication of Beautiful Land Across the Waters by Virginia Pritchett, available on Amazon.com and now in the Barnes & Noble in Annapolis.
• Turning Circle events.
• Friends.
• Cats.
• Bought a 2008 Honda Fit.

Bad things about 2007:

• Tim's mother died over Memorial Day weekend.
• Tim had bronchitis over the holidays. I had a nasty cold. I now think I like summer better than winter. At least in the summer one has air conditioning.
• Old job. Now like a bad dream.
• Our 1997 Honda Civic bit the dust.
• Harry Potter grew up.
• George Bush and Dick Cheney. A Democratic Congress with no cojones.
• The war in Iraq. We should get out and let the Iraqis govern their own country. We don't do enough to help our returning veterans.
• The aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Our government and FEMA screwed up and still haven't set things right for the victims.

Things I'd like to see happen in 2008:

• Dick Cheney and George Bush get impeached.
• Dennis Kucinich elected president (although I'll settle for any of the Democrats currently running).
• The implementation of universal health care.
• The U.S. pulls out of Iraq.
• The prison at Guantanamo is closed and the prisoners each get their day in court just like anyone else in U.S. territory accused of a crime. Habeas Corpus and "innocent until proven guilty" doesn't apply to just some of the people; it applies to all of the people.
• The legalization of civil unions. No one cares (or debates) if you're gay or straight.
• Either Nancy Pelosi grows a pair or Cindy Sheehan gets elected to Congress.
• Bill Clinton appointed as president of the U.N.
• My druggie neighbors move.
• I earn money taking photos part-time. (Does your pet smile?)
• XMRadio finally explains why they need to "preempt" regularly scheduled programming for sports events when they already have 19 sports channels.
• The MTA improves its service.
• Hay fever, ragweed, and pollen are permanently outlawed.
• Robert Asprin comes to a local science fiction convention.
• A performance by O'Malley's March (with Gov. O'Malley).
• No more commercials for "male enhancement" and "sexy" pharmaceuticals (the drug companies want people to think it's "cool" to take drugs, whether they really need them or not). Ah, living the 21st Century American Dream!

Years ago some friends and I speculated that another colleague probably spent much of her spare time watching TV and eating bon-bons. Having just scarfed down a "whoopee pie" in a moment of sugary weakness, I can see how, for some people, this might not be far from the truth--especially since I am currently between jobs (the politically correct phrase for "unemployed")--albeit temporarily. I will probably be starting another job in a few weeks. In the meantime, here I sit, inspired to share how I have been occupying my time--some chores are certainly more interesting than others. 

• We've already covered the whoopee pies, so I won't go there. (No bon-bons in the house; just some Icelandic Dark Chocolate--at least for now--purchased from Whole Foods Market.)
• Stayed up most of the night (and next day) reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
• Sleeping.
• Washed dishes in the dishwasher (a rare treat after two weeks of waiting for the part to come in and using paper plates. Wine doesn't taste as good in a paper cup.)
• Gradually setting aside excess crap accumulated over the years for Ebay, Goodwill, or bookstore buyback.
• Updated my resume, applied for jobs, went to a couple of job interviews.
• Played with my laptop and watched reruns of Star Trek: Voyager.
• Tweaked the internet connection of that gradually-becoming-a-piece-of-crap desktop computer I gave up in place of a laptop (because I felt trapped in the corner and because it is gradually becoming a piece of crap). The Toshiba laptop works great most of the time; unfortunately their tech support staff gets paid beans to sit in India or Pakistan, read off a script, and generally not know their bytes from a hole in the ground.
• Finally got around to potting the flowers I purchased last month.
• Went to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.
• Visited Lancaster County (Amish Country), PA. Took photos and purchased produce, shoo-fly pie, and whoopee pies from Amish farm stands.
• Cooked said produce (and some Mexican food, hopefully low-fat) in the crockpot.
• Strolled with a friend around Hanover Antiques (it's the size of a warehouse and at least a mile to walk around the whole store and see each booth). Good exercise.
• Typed the minutes for our building's condo board (I'm the secretary).
• Took my friend John out to dinner for his birthday and presented him with a couple of gag gifts, including a bottle of Boone's Farm (for some reason he likes to drink his own version of a wine cooler, wine mixed with Gatorade.) I asked him to let me know which tasted better (he said the Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill).
• Thoroughly cleaned the cat's ears in the hopes that they'll stay clean for at least a couple weeks.
• Wrote my Congresspeople in support of universal health care (and impeachment).
• Much laundry and much grocery-shopping.
• Super-cleaned the kitchen floor and finally got around to putting a new bag in the vacuum cleaner.
• Went to the park with my mother. (Herons and rabbits and geese, oh my!)
• Found a bunch of missing poetry on a CDROM and imported it all into my poetry database (hooray!).
• Cleaned out my email inbox (at least for a couple of days. I must be on every Democratic email list in existence.)
• Volunteered to help with a drumming circle.
• Continued to pester XMRadio over why I haven't seen the refund they promised me three months ago.
• Made travel arrangements for an upcoming trip to Maine and Massachusetts (Salem and Concorde, MA; Brunswick, ME) in August.
• Updated my web page and blog.
• Uploaded photos to flickr and played with Adobe Photoshop.
• Played with an early birthday present (a Canon 1:1 F2.8 macro lens!) After I bought it, I told my husband he didn't need to get me anything else for my birthday. :)
• Was planning to go see SICKO this evening, but my husband had to stay late at work. :( See ya next week, Michael Moore!)

At least it's not Monday. Today was a slow day at work. Being in-between quarters, there are not a lot of new orders coming in to be requested, nor electronic documents to be sent. One of my colleagues seems to have spent the better part of the afternoon wrangling with the IRS. I think he said they received his payment but not his tax forms. Yes, our tax dollars (and post offal) at work.

Which reminds me of yet another one of the thousand-and-one reasons I cannot stand George Bush:

From the Baltimore Sun [excerpt]:

Bush detainee plan OK'd by Senate

Bill creates military tribunals, offers leeway on interrogation tactics

By Anne Plummer Flaherty

The Associated Press

Originally published September 28, 2006, 7:47 PM EDT

WASHINGTON // The Senate today endorsed President Bush's plans to prosecute and interrogate terror suspects, all but sealing congressional approval for legislation that Republicans intend to use on the campaign trail to assert their toughness on terrorism.

The 65-34 vote means the bill could reach the president's desk by week's end. The House passed nearly identical legislation on Wednesday and was expected to approve the Senate bill on Friday, sending it on to the White House.

The bill would create military commissions to prosecute terrorism suspects. It also would prohibit some of the worst abuses of detainees like mutilation and rape, but grant the president leeway to decide which other interrogation techniques are permissible.

A New Game! Where in the World is Osama bin-Laden? I'm not a lawyer, and I don't think I'm "soft" on terrorism (the continuation of the human race would in no way be jeopardized by the permanent removal of Osama bin Laden's DNA from the gene pool--that is, if somebody would actually LOOK for him), but I think the phrases "innocent until proven guilty" and "right to a fair trial" are fairly self-explanatory. Except maybe to Donald Rumsfeld and the cowardly rat-finks in Congress who are too easily bought or arm-twisted.

But back to work (pun intended). There will be no more quarters after the fall quarter. When the current contract ends by Dec. 31, our funding ends. While the bureaucrats tell us that, ostensibly, the funding runs through the end of the next fiscal year (June 30), and they can probably find a temporary place for us back at the main library, and while we MAY get a new contract in the meantime, we are all being "strongly encouraged" to look for new jobs. I may stick it out as long as possible; however, all the colleagues I like best have either left or are leaving soon. A few years ago I "jumped ship" at one job before the proverbial boat sank; now it feels (again) as if the rodents are leaving the deck of the Titanic en masse. My enthusiasm is underwhelming.

My Life as a God. And to the patron who called complaining because he actually had to PAY SHIPPING COSTS in order to return his books, I'm sorry that you don't like our policies, but every other patron has to abide by the same policies. I'm sorry you didn't like my suggestion that you use USPS instead of UPS but use tracking for your own protection--you just kept ranting and barely let me get two words in. I'm sorry you think that the cost of return postage is enough to deter you from borrowing any more books through Interlibrary Loan. I can only wonder what colorful excuses you offered to the student billing office when you received your last tuition bill. I don't write the rules, and I can't control what UPS and the USPS charge for shipping. I'm only a library assistant. And, BTW, you sound just like Elmer Fudd over the phone. Maybe I'll write a nice satirical novel someday, "My Life as a God."

The Early Bird Gets The Boot. When I left for work this morning, once again the bus arrived early. By "early" I mean the bus consistently arrives at my stop at the time it is supposed to be LEAVING the first stop on the route. Then the bus driver SLOWS DOWN along the rest of the route. My bus stop at Roland and Somerset is 2 miles down the road from the origination stop at Roland and Bellemore. Ten+ years of catching the bus has taught me that it usually takes 5-10 minutes for the bus to get to my stop from Roland and Bellemore. Even if there's no one boarding the bus for the first two miles, there 's no freakin' way the bus should arrive at the same time he's leaving, unless the bus itself is a TARDIS. I've seen too many people on this route run for the bus, and there are some regulars I haven't seen lately--I'm sure they missed the bus on more than one occasion. So today I complained yet again to the MTA (Maryland Transit Administration). And, for the first time, they took my name and address and promised to get back to me.

Two weeks ago:

(Me) "According to the schedule you're supposed to be leaving Roland and Bellemore at 11:50, 2 miles down the road. I believe you're too early." (Driver arrived at my stop at 11:50).

(Driver) "Well, the bus before me broke down so they moved all the other buses up." (CYA time.)

Of course, the MTA confirmed that they don't operate that way. And this particular bus driver won't talk to me when I get on the bus, even if I say "good morning" or "thanks." MTA changes drivers the way Captain Kirk changes girlfriends; the bad part is, good bus drivers get replaced by idiots who can't tell time; conversely, if the same trend holds, in a few months Mr. Illiterate will be busy screwing up a different bus route.

And one other suggestion to the MTA. Make the benches at the bus stops a little sturdier. Today a woman plopped down next to me, blithely yakking away on her cell phone. The benches shake when contact is made with derrieres over a certain size.

That pesky "F-word." Our two cats typically beg for canned food when we get up in the morning. Inky especially gets underfoot and meows pitifully. She's a solid cat and, once she plants herself in one place, she doesn't dislodge easily. One look at Inky will convince the most devout skeptic that she's in no danger of starving. If you try to ignore Inky, her meows increase in volume and she favors you with a look that says, "I don't want no more of this boring dry-food shit!" Inky loves canned food; Selene likes canned food, but I think she prefers "people food." When the canned food comes out of the pantry, the volume control on Inky's purr-box cranks into overdrive.

A few days ago, my husband and I were having coffee and Inky was begging vociferously. My husband asked, "Should I give Inky some food?" I said, "Don't say the F-word!"

• Bush denies wiretaps of citizens were illegal


• Eavesdropping may derail appointment of CIA chief

'Countdown with Keith Olbermann' for April 12 says it best (and this is stuff that happened in the LAST TWO WEEKS):

OLBERMANN: That this is not the first scandal to hit the White House will not come as news to you, so many eyebrows have been raised, so many timelines questioned, that keeping just track of these scandals could become a full-time job, especially when we have now sunk to the level of weather balloons.

It is our job. A quick refresher here, working backwards. In just the last two weeks, the biolabs that weren't. That's today. The Republican New Hampshire phone-jamming scheme tied to the White House. The GOP says it was the RNC, not the White House. The plan for Iran, bombing the heck out of it. Scooter Libby testifying that Vice President Cheney told him that President Bush authorized the leaking of classified information to Judith Miller, that Mr. Bush declassified for just that purpose.

A Homeland Security media spokesman picked up in a sex sting, charged with preying on teenaged girls. Tom DeLay resigning from Congress. Mr. Bush replacing his chief of staff under pressure. And last but certainly not least, the Senate Judiciary Committee holding a hearing on a motion to censure the president.

Also this week, Senator Hillary Clinton invoking a comparison, briefly, anyway, between President Bush's abuse of power and that of President Nixon during Watergate.

And even more proof that the so-called "evidence" for WMDs was flawed:

Our fifth story on the COUNTDOWN, new reports of honesty-challenged conduct at the White House, not with prewar intel about WMD in Iraq, but with midwar intel about WMD in Iraq.

The purported mobile weapons labs, the ones that Colin Powell cited at the U.N., one of the most vivid arguments supporting U.S. military intervention in Iraq, finally located by allied forces just weeks after Baghdad fell, cited then as proof that there was too WMD in that country.

But "The Washington Post" reports a Pentagon fact-finding mission in the weeks after in the invasion had already concluded that these trailers had absolutely nothing to do with biological weapons. They were instead part of Iraq's vast stealth program to produce weather balloons.

The three-page Pentagon field survey had made it back to Washington on May 27, 2003, yet President Bush was hailing the capture of those trailers just two days later, and again six days after that.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

GEORGE W. BUSH, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: We recently found two mobile biological weapons facilities which were capable of producing biological agents. This is a man who spent decades hiding tools of mass murder. He knew the inspectors were looking for him. You know better than me, he's got a big country in which to hide them. Rona look (ph). We'll reveal the truth.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

OLBERMANN: The members of that Pentagon fact-finding mission unanimously concluding the exact opposite, that the trailers were little more than, quote, "the biggest sand toilets in the world," a conclusion they reached rapidly, one team member telling The Post, quote, "Within the first four hours, it was clear to everyone that these were not biological labs, the report, stamped 'Secret' and reportedly shelved, its findings apparently ignored as senior members of the administration, Mr. Cheney, Mr. Powell, Ms. Rice, Mr. Wolfowitz, Mr. Bolton continued to claim the trailers were mobile weapons factories."

Harrumph: I'd rather have Bill Clinton back, with a HAREM of concubines to lie about. I have a theory, i.e. in an alternate universe:

a) If Dick Cheney had been engaged in oral sex, perhaps he would have been less inclined to get drunk & act out Shakespeare's axiom, "kill all the lawyers."

b) If George Bush were the regular recipient of oral sex, maybe we wouldn't have invaded Iraq, and we wouldn't now be discussing turning Iran into toast.

c) Who knows what would have happened if Saddam Hussein, Osama bin Laden, and other historical despots received oral sex on a regular basis? Osama bin Laden obviously has too much money & too much time on his hands. Man needs to get laid, bigtime. Perhaps more love = less violence. What if cunnilingus is the secret to achieving world peace? It's certainly more fun than blowing up skyscrapers, executing people, or otherwise invading other countries & waging war. Maybe the real answer to the question of "Life, the Universe, and Everything" is 69, not 42 (with apologies to Douglas Addams).

I've always thought diplomacy would work best between world leaders having a beer on an orbiting space station. (Unless one doesn't drink. Then there's always oral sex).

d) In an alternate universe, if George Bush was sexually fulfilled, perhaps he would have been content aspiring to circus clown, sidekick or other profession for which he was distinctly qualified.

e) Any patriots out there? (no, I'm not volunteering). If I & one of the male individuals previously mentioned were the last people on Earth, that might be it for the human race. Whatever happened to heroes?

f) OK, I couldn't resist the obvious. This post is partially "tongue-in-cheek" (or elsewhere as the case may be).

In the meantime, break out the presidential kneepads! Or tell Laura to get busy. But please, don't have a cigar on me.

The following guest posting is written by a friend (whom Harrumph happens to agree with, BTW).

Unlike any other administration I am aware of in our nation's history, there is absolutely no limit to the amount of greed, corruption, partisanship, and cheating the Bush administration has used in order to seize and maintain power. As we know, these problems existed in many prior administrations, but nowhere near the extent of that found in the Bush administration. This administration does not recognize nor abide by any rules that indicate certain acts are wrong and must not be committed under any circumstances.

While previous administrations often rewarded those who put them in power, rarely were ALL crucial positions taken up by political cronies who knew absolutely nothing about their new jobs. For example, not only was Michael Brown totally inexperienced in dealing with natural disasters as the former (and fired) president of the Arabian Horse Association (a more appropriate position for him might be president of the International Horse's Ass Association), but his two deputies were formerly employed as chief fundraisers for the Bush-Cheney campaign. Similarly, election officials have been corrupt in previous administrations, but never before has the same candidate (George Bush) been involved in two stolen elections. And, in both 2000 and 2004, the results hinged on one state, with both the Florida Secretary of State (Katherine Harris) and Ohio Secretary of State (Ken Blackwell) being the state's chair for the Bush-Cheney Campaign.

President Dwight D. Eisenhower was concerned that the U.S. would be overtaken by special interests led by billionaire CEOs from Texas who were in the oil industry (e.g. Hunt, Murcheson), very conservative Democrats who had turned Republican by the late 1960s and early 1970s. His concern with this narrow interest group started at the beginning of his term in 1953 and increased significantly over the years. He was most worried that the United States had recently developed an armaments industry whose power, if unchecked and in the wrong hands, could destroy the world: "The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist."

In his farewell address to the nation (January 17, 1961), he said:

"This conjunction of an immense military establishment and a large arms industry is new in the American experience. The total influence--economic, political, even spiritual--is felt in every city, every Statehouse, every office of the Federal government. We recognize the imperative need for this development. Yet we must not fail to comprehend its grave implications. Our toil, resources and livelihood are all involved; so is the very structure of our society.

"In the councils of government, we must guard against the acquisition of unwarranted influence, whether sought or unsought, by the military-industrial complex. The potential for the disastrous rise of misplaced power exists and will persist.

"We must never let the weight of this combination endanger our liberties or democratic processes. We should take nothing for granted. Only an alert and knowledgeable citizenry can compel the proper meshing of the huge industrial and military machinery of defense with our peaceful methods and goals, so that security and liberty may prosper together."

Eisenhower was not alone in his apprehension. In 1954, Senator William Jenner said:

"Today the path to total dictatorship in the United States can be laid by strictly legal means, unseen and unheard by the Congress, the President, or the people... outwardly we have a Constitutional government. We have operating within our government and political system, another body representing another form of government, a bureaucratic elite which believes our Constitution is outmoded and is sure that it is the winning side.... All the strange developments in the foreign policy agreements may be traced to this group who are going to make us over to suit their pleasure.... This political action group has its own local political support organizations, its own pressure groups, its own vested interests, its foothold within our government, and its own propaganda apparatus."

Eisenhower's (and Jenner's) fears have clearly materialized at the core of the current administration as not only Bush and Cheney, but practically their entire cabinet, have been heavily involved in the oil and armaments industries. Just about all of the contracts for rebuilding Iraq and New Orleans have gone to Halliburton. The reason for going to war with Iraq (i.e., Saddam Hussein had WMDs) was not only a lie, but also an opportunity for profit from oil and armaments for Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld and CEOs of such industries--all friends of Bush. The death toll in Iraq is now in the thousands and climbing.

I hope that today's indictment of a former insect exterminator and pesticide salesman (Tom DeLay) leads to more and more uncovering AND punishment of Bush administration officials. But the Democrats in Congress--all of them--must do their part. The Bush administration is not only characterized by corruption and greed on the part of government officials and many Congressional Republicans, but also extreme timidity on the part of Congressional Democrats. Throughout our country's history, typically members of the minority party often challenged that of the majority. However, as Howard Dean emphasized, too many Democrats (with the notable exceptions of John Conyers and Barbara Boxer who opposed the results of the 2004 election) have been "Bush lite" or a less extreme form of advocacy for pollution, greed, discrimination, and mistreatment of our teachers, police, firefighters, health care workers, and, above all, our soldiers and their families.

• October 7, 2005: AP/Ipsos Poll: Bush's Approval Mired At Lowest levels Of Presidency; Optimism About Nation's Direction Sinks To New Depths


• October 6, 2005: AP/Ipsos Poll: Americans Have lost Confidence That Billions For Hurricane Recovery Will Be Spent Wisely


• October 6, 2005: AP/Ipsos Poll: Supreme Court Nominee Miers Has Less Public Support Than Roberts Had

Jamie Wilson in Washington Friday October 7, 2005 - Guardian

LEWISTON, ME: "Mother Nature seems to be in the mood for some amusement," states Peter Geiger, Philom., Editor of the 2006 Farmers' Almanac. The 189-year-old publication, which has an uncanny ability to predict long-range weather with amazing accuracy, reveals a forecast that has so many ups and downs on the thermometer that many may be reminded of riding a roller, or as the Farmers' Almanac puts it, "Polar Coaster."

"The East is on tap for a crazy ride, with the temperatures and weather initially leading into the winter season seeming mild, but the bulk of the winter will turn out to be unusually cold, with plenty of snow especially in the northern sections," reveals Sandi Duncan, Philom, Managing Editor. The Farmers' Almanac, which accurately predicted the hot, humid summer, is forecasting a more amusing winter in the West, with an overall warmer winter prediction, but with a fair share of snow and cold periods in the country's midsections.

(http://www.farmersalmanac.com/forthepress/uspressrelease.html)

Harrumph: My apologies in advance to the Weather Channel--very useful, especially while traveling--for what I am about to say next, with one exception: I like the information on your website (weather.com), but I hate all the freaking popup ads. Isn't it enough that I pay my cable provider every month to carry your station and have to watch THEIR ads? SHEESH! Enough already. Especially the one with the Sanford Sharpie writing on people's stomachs. It's stupid, tacky and disgusting, and I never buy antacid based on a recommendation tatooed across someone's navel. Hmm... maybe I'll suggest it to the [G]reedy [O]il [P]arty for promoting their 2008 presidential candidate.

Anyway, I've always secretly believed that, contrary to what America sees on television, in an undisclosed location 150 levels below the executive parking lot of the Weather Channel's Atlanta headquarters, a war-painted Dick Cheney, in beads and feathers, sits tossing old possum bones, predicting world weather and political trends. Then he logs onto weather.com, types in his secret password, contacts the Shrub-in-Chief with advice via the Internets, and Karl Rove leaks it to Fox the news media.¹